Initiation
by cpt.handel
Summary: To be a Death eater, a life must be taken. However, when that life is a loved one, can ambition and pressure overcome the pain caused to both the executioner and the victim? Lucius Malfoy must decide for himself.


Initiation Rights

Disclaimer: Anything Jo Rowling has written that you see here, I take no claim of. It's hers, and not mine. However, I do claim any and all of my original characters, plot, and anything else I add. Ok, it's no copyright but you get the picture.

A/N: So this is an oldey that I found while cleaning out my stash. Apparently it was too mature to post on another site which shall remain nameless. Personally, I don't think it's mature, just rather at all, just rather dark but I guess don't write for four year olds... Anyway, very angsty but I really enjoy exploring side characters. Well, enjoy if you can and if you need a pick me up I still have a bit of fluff posted on my profile. :)

It wouldn't hurt him. It would be a pleasure. A wholly new and remarkable experience which he could use to his advantage. He could prove himself to be loyal, without any doubt. He could see the image of himself, rising to power at the Dark Lord's right hand side. His ambitions would be realized. All it would take was a wave of the wand and two words: _Avada Kedavara. _But if it was so easy, why did he hesitate?

"Lucius...Lucius please...I have a son, a husband...p-please..." The sobbing voice rang out to the silence that surrounded them. The air felt thin, cold, almost non existent. The pair could be in a dark corner of Space and wouldn't see a difference.

"Come now Lucius..." Bade a high pitched and cold voice. "Let's not keep the young lady waiting." Lord Voldemort fingered his own wand, looking on in quiet pleasure. A gasp came from the floor as the young woman wept, sitting on her feet, arms wrapped tightly around her midriff, rocking back and forth on the cold stone.

"If Lucius is too scared my master, let me have the privilege." Came a huskier voice from the corner.

"No Goyle. Young Lucius must do it himself. It is, after all, his duty." A hint of annoyance came into the voice's icy texture. The pleasure at seeing the young woman suffer was being overcome by aggravation at the boy's hesitancy to kill her.

Lucius raised his wand high, but felt a deep struggle take over his mind. Why should he hesitate? A muggle like this deserved death, especially for her treachery to him. But how could he extinguish what he once loved...or thought he had. They had practically grown up together. Her family may have been servants but that had never stopped him from picking flowers from the meadow for her birthday, or her teaching him to swim when no one else bothered. The images of his childhood flashed before his eyes, taking hold of his senses in what felt like a lifetime, but took less then a second. He could do nothing against his own memories...

He was relaxing by the lake near his families country manor. Across the lake to the opposite shore he could see the muggle grounds keeper with his dog, planting a small grove of trees. The house had been given to Lucius's family by an old relative whose only son was a squib. It was against the law for a squib to inherit so it was given to Lucius' mother with the condition that the son and his family be allowed to live on the land as grounds keeper. Lucius' mother had been loathe to keep a squib and his muggle wife and children so close to her only son, but with magical will law, there was no alternative except to not live at the home. However, Lucius was found of the country, and she doted on him.

Not far from where Lucius lay, a bright streak of pink and green fluttered by and an enormous splash echoed around. Sitting up to investigate the rude interrupter of his day dreams, 5 year old Lucius saw a girl, in her bathing suit swimming around in the water. From the way her two piece bathing suit fit her, she had to have been at most two years his senior.

"Excuse me!" He yelled at the bather. "What are you doing in my lake?" The girl turned around and, giving him a reproachful look, splashed water onto the shore and quickly began to swim to the other side of the lake. Lucius, however, didn't seem to notice her aggravation, as he was still looking into her long gone, bright robin's egg blue eyes. He felt a funny pain in the pit of his stomach and quickly stood to leave. Then, the lake scene shifted, to one in a crowded, dimly lit forest...

"Where are you taking me?" Giggled an excited girl as a platinum blonde haired boy lead her by the waist to the edge of a clearing in the wood. "Lucius?"

"Just wait. You'll love this." He pulled the blindfold from her eyes, revealing a broom lying on the ground.

"We're going to clean then?" Asked the girl mockingly.

"No! We're going to fly."

"You mean...this is actually...?"

"Yeah. It's a broomstick. The kind we use in that game I was telling you about. You remember Quidditch?"

"How could I forget?" She looked over at the polished mahogany handle that was handed to her. "Oh, Lucius, this is great!"

"Now, hold the handle firmly." He scrambled onto the back of the broomstick, bringing his arms around her waist to hold onto the handle in front of her. He could feel her tense her muscles with anticipation. "Ready?"

"No!"

"Ok. 1...2...3!" Lucius kicked off of the ground and the pair soared high above the trees. "Happy 13th birthday!" He yelled as wind and cloud brushed across their speeding bodies...

Lucius was back at the lakeside now, but the bright day scene had gone to night. He held the hands of the girl standing in front of him, kissing her gently on the lips.

"I can't write to you anymore from school. Mum's scene the owls."

"I understand." She whispered, leaning gently into his chest. "Lucius?"

"Hmm?" They were embracing now and he had his cheeks on her forehead.

"What will happen to me...when this man comes to power...?" She pulled away slightly, looking into his eyes.

"Nothing...I promise." He looked away from her, into the dark horizon beyond the treetops. "Nobody knows about you. I've made sure."

"But, I heard papa say he doesn't like non-magical people. I heard he wants to enslave us...to conquer my world." Lucius chuckled slightly, still looking over her head.

"You're with me though, remember Anna? That's just for everyone else. Besides, he only wants to take care of muggles. You know, keep them from hurting each other and from---what is it?" Anna had pulled away from his hold completely, looking at him with wide, teary eyes.

"Lucius...have you joined him?"

"Well, yes. His ideas may seem different but that's just because you're scared of change. He has real power. Power like I've never seen before." An odd look came over Lucius' face. He looked hungry, wild ambition coursing through him. Anna didn't believe what she heard.

"And you think you can save me from that fate he has in store for my kind?"

"He said that his favorites will have all they desire. That will include you."

"Please stop Lucius." She whispered now, barely aware of where she was.

"Stop what darling?"

"Stop pretending that you can control this situation."

"Anna, I promised I would keep you safe. I know what I'm doing. I love you!"

"You're a liar Lucius Malfoy..." She whispered, shaking her head and backing up. "How could you say that you loved me. Even if he does allow you to 'keep' me, do you think he'll bother saving my family...my friends? If you think that you, a boy of 16, could control the most powerful wizard of time, then you aren't who I thought you were." She turned and ran back through the woods.

"ANNA!" Lucius called after, making his way into the woods. Why would she leave? Didn't she understand that it was safer with him? He couldn't protect her out in the muggle world. Eventually Lucius stopped looking and made his way back to his home.

The night scene melted away to a large, dark room. Heavy furniture sat in groupings as Lucius stood by the fire, one hand resting on the mantle, the other holding a letter, slack at his side. He had read it over and over again, but still he couldn't interpret what it said.

_Dear Lucius,_

_I'm sorry I haven't seen you for so long, but I thought it would be better for the both of us if I stayed away. I don't think I could trust myself to be with you face to face. _

_I have news for you Lucius. Something wonderful has happened to me. I married last week. His name is Roger. He runs the bakery in the village. I'm also sure that we're going to have a baby. I don't know how this news will make you feel, but I only hope that you can forgive me. Roger's a good man, and he'll take care of me and the baby. _

_With all my heart. _

_Anna_

Lucius wiped his moist cheeks. He let out a moan of pain and drew his other hand up to cover his face. He could hear footsteps coming down the steps from the boys dormitories. Lucius gritted his teeth and quickly tore up the letter, tossing it's pieces into the fire. No matter what she said, he would never forgive the mudblood....

The scenes melted, many paintings whose colors were running together and forming a new scene. He was back in the dark dungeon, the quivering figure of Anna at his feet. He didn't want her to die so suddenly. He wanted her to suffer. But she hadn't done well under the Cruciatus curse, and her screams made the memories stronger, harder to control.

_"Anna, I promised I would keep you safe." _He had said_."I know what I am doing. I love you."_

Anna's pain, her suffering echoed throughout the hall. Lucius did not just hear them, or see the visible signs with his eyes. He felt her, in the very core of his heart, his stomach he was with her in her pain.

"Come on Lucius. Time doesn't stand still for old lovers." the voice of Bellatrix Lestrange entering into his world made him cringe with disgust. He had to do it. It was the last thing standing between him, and ascension in the ranks. Again, he raised his wand, placing the tip at even level with her forehead. The sobbing girl looked up, tears still streaming down her face as her eyes pleaded with him.

"Please."

Her pain wasn't enough. His pain wasn't. For all of this—the power, the respect-- he would give a thousand Annas. When Lucius raised his wand, he no longer thought of the life he was taking, or the pain he would leave himself. Those did not belong to him and he cared nothing for them. He only thought the the power he held: over life, over death, and over the universe that once thought he could love a mudblood.

"_Aveda Kedavara!"_


End file.
